Carpe Diem

If you are in Houston today, you know that Harvey set a lot of us back.  Setbacks, no matter how big or little, can keep us down for a very long time.  Some individuals are held back from the smallest set backs while others face big setbacks and jump right back in the game.  Regardless of the size of your challenges, get back in the game and use your set back as motivation and a lesson.  Learning from your experiences is easier said than done, I know.  Nevertheless, successful individuals put the past behind them and take what they learn to get better.  You’re always preparing for the future because you can’t go back.  Carpe Diem!

Have you ever thought about what you are looking for when you go online or use your phone?  Is there some need that you are trying to satisfy?

When you become more valuable, the team you are on becomes more valuable.  If you want to improve the team you are on, add more value to yourself.  Invest in yourself.  Get better at what you do.  If you are the leader of a team, encourage your team members to become more valuable through personal development.

Chose to be happy.

Chose to find the good in others.

Chose to find the good in yourself.

Chose to be an asset rather than a liability.

Chose to be healthy.

Chose to be grateful.

Chose life.

1. Your limiting beliefs hold you back.
   • A belief that you can’t is a belief that you won’t.
2. Looking for the answer to the question, How do I do it?
   • Most worthwhile endeavor don’t have the answer to this question.
3. Fear
   • False Evidence Appearing Real keeps us from taking action.
4. Your image of the world and yourself.
   • If you don’t think you are worthy of success or that the world has conspired against you because of who you think you are will keep you form trying.
5. Your environment
   • Family, friends, and community shape your beliefs about yourself and the world.
6. You are only interested, not committed.
   • The chicken was interested in opening a breakfast restaurant and the pig was committed.  You can easily walk away from interest, you’re all in when you are committed.
7. You don’t have a coach.
   • Every great athlete had a coach.  You can’t see yourself and you are not honest with yourself.  A coach helps you overcome those two obstacles.

Mike drop!

Life is what you make of it.  It reminds me of a canvas.  You have an opportunity when given a canvas to make of it what you want.  You can choose any color or material to create images on the canvas.  Some will make it a masterpiece and some will not.  Regardless of what you make it at the end of your life its yours and yours alone.  Of course what you leave behind is your legacy.  Leave a masterpiece and people will remember you forever.  Even if you leave a disaster people will remember you forever.  You get to decide how you will be remembered.  The middle of the road or the average image will not be remembered because it is not remarkable in any way.  Many people take this route because it’s safe or they just don’t know how to make a masterpiece.  If you truly want to make your life a masterpiece you will have to work very hard.  Every color, every brush stroke, every thought and image in your mind must be focused on the goal of making a masterpiece worth remembering.  There is no short cut to success.  There is no secret to success.  It’s grinding and risk without reward before there is ever a reward.  Most people are not willing to take that chance.  They want the pay off right away.  What will you choose to do?  I hope you chose to make a masterpiece and recognize that everything matters.  The process matters.  The success is found in the struggle.  It doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t enjoy the effort.  Having your mind set on the vision of your final product gives you pleasure because you know that outcome that others can’t see.  They may not see or understand your effort as being fruitful and they don’t have to see it.  All that matters is that you see it and you are working toward achieving it.

When your dog needs to go out and you can’t get back to sleep, do what I am sure millions of other individuals do, check out Facebook.  This is not typical for me, the FB part anyway.  In this case, I’m glad I did because I watched a video that changes the way I see addiction and dopamine.  It’s not that I was thinking very much about either of those subjects before; however, thanks to Simon Sinek, I am thinking about them a lot right now.  Here is a link to a video of his comments if you want to stop reading this and watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrT8lJNa9Z8.

Addiction, according to Wikipedia, the brain trust of America and the World, is “a central nervous system disease characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. . . [and] a biological process – one which is induced by repeated exposure to an addictive stimulus.  The two properties that characterize all addictive stimuli are that they are reinforcing (i.e., they increase the likelihood that a person will seek repeated exposure to them) and intrinsically rewarding (i.e., perceived as being positive or desirable).”  

Dopamine, again, according to Wikipedia, “In the brain, functions as a neurotransmitter—a chemical released by neurons (nerve cells) to send signals to other nerve cells.  The brain includes several distinct dopamine pathways, one of which plays a major role in reward-motivated behavior. Most types of reward increase the level of dopamine in the brain.”

Sinek makes the point, thanks for continuing to read by the way, that Millennials and everyone else are addicted to their phones because you get a release of dopamine every time you check out FB, Instagram, email, texts, etc.  The compelling thing about this for me is that I will be returning to the classroom to teach in a little over a week to new reality.  Every semester I see many of my students ignoring the lecture for their phones.  I’ve been perplexed by this for a long time.  Why pay for an education and come to class only to ignore the message?  It would be like going to a restaurant, ordering a meal, paying for the meal, and not eating it because you would rather use your phone to engage with a world outside the restaurant.  Now I understand what is going on.  Yes, my lecture might not be the most engaging thing anyone has ever heard; however, there very well may be another explanation for their disengagement.  These students are addicts, and they are using my class to get a fix.  I am witnessing addiction in its truest form.  What’s more amazing is that unlike other addictions, this one is totally legal.  What is a professor to do?

 

We live one moment at a time, not one day at a time.  You continuously breath, and your heart beats continuously.  Your life is the product of these continuous actions.  You don’t have to think about breathing or beating your heart.  It happens automatically.

What if you were to make good decisions that had the same frequency?  These decisions are the product of your thinking.  Of course, your environment influences your thinking.  Be mindful of your environment and the decisions that you are already making.

For example, you make the decision to brush your teeth everyday when you are in the bathroom particularly in the morning and at night.  Yet, many people don’t floss as well as they should.  If you made the decision to floss just one tooth rather than all of your teeth, there would be an immediate reward for having accomplished this small action.  The reward should be celebrated even if it is just to say awesome or good job.  Over time, that one decision to take a small action accompanied with a reward would lead to many more decisions and actions which would produce a habit, which in turn produces as result.

Begin with recognizing the need to change and what needs to be changed. The need to change is easy because it is an awareness that you are not getting the result you want now based on what you have been doing.  Knowing what to change is not that difficult either because we know that the actions we take produce the results we get.  The key is recognizing that small changes in behavior produce big results over time.  For example, if we get on the scale or look in the mirror and don’t see the result we want, it is clear that we need to change the result and our behavior.  So, when we eat the wrong foods we don’t get the result we want.

We usually think of the big change we want to make, lose ten pounds, save a ton of money, exercise 30 minutes per day, etc.  Of course we know you can’t achieve these things in lump sum.  You have to begin by losing one pound, one dollar, and one minute.  These are tiny steps toward a bigger goal.  So, let’s focus on achieving these very small wins.

Since these decisions happen in a moment, let’s pay attention to what triggers us to take action in the right or wrong direction.  These triggers happen at a biological level.  We may not be able to change our biology; however, we can make a decision to make a small change in behavior which will lead to another decision to make a small change.  These small changes develop momentum and lead to a habit which produces a big result.

What can you do to trigger better behaviors?  Break it down.  What action leads to the next action?  Do something that brings you a reward.  Achievement leads to an endorphin release, feeling good.  Creating a string of actions with reward will help you to get the results you want.

Pain or pleasure?  We tend to avoid pain and pursue pleasure in the short term.  That decision to eat cake produces pleasure in the mouth and brain at the moment followed by regret and weight gain in the long run.  Perhaps you could carry gum with you and chew a stick of gum each time you feel the temptation to each cake.  This tiny action can produce a long term result.

Drinking more water could be an example.  To drink more water, make it easier to drink.  I never liked drinking water and still don’t.  However, I recognize it is important for my health.  So, I have a case of water in my truck, in my office, in my lunch bag, and many cases in my house.  Having water all around me all of the time makes it easier to drink.  It also serves as a trigger.  Seeing the water reminds me to drink.  Of course, I have to make the decision to drink; however, when I create an environment to make that decision easier I make the decision with more frequency.

Think about creating trigger goals rather than just long term goals.  Make micro changes to achieve what you want.  Create a trigger, take a small action, give yourself a reward, and repeat (T.A.R.R).