Month: January 2017

Chose to be happy.

Chose to find the good in others.

Chose to find the good in yourself.

Chose to be an asset rather than a liability.

Chose to be healthy.

Chose to be grateful.

Chose life.

1. Your limiting beliefs hold you back.
   • A belief that you can’t is a belief that you won’t.
2. Looking for the answer to the question, How do I do it?
   • Most worthwhile endeavor don’t have the answer to this question.
3. Fear
   • False Evidence Appearing Real keeps us from taking action.
4. Your image of the world and yourself.
   • If you don’t think you are worthy of success or that the world has conspired against you because of who you think you are will keep you form trying.
5. Your environment
   • Family, friends, and community shape your beliefs about yourself and the world.
6. You are only interested, not committed.
   • The chicken was interested in opening a breakfast restaurant and the pig was committed.  You can easily walk away from interest, you’re all in when you are committed.
7. You don’t have a coach.
   • Every great athlete had a coach.  You can’t see yourself and you are not honest with yourself.  A coach helps you overcome those two obstacles.

Mike drop!

Life is what you make of it.  It reminds me of a canvas.  You have an opportunity when given a canvas to make of it what you want.  You can choose any color or material to create images on the canvas.  Some will make it a masterpiece and some will not.  Regardless of what you make it at the end of your life its yours and yours alone.  Of course what you leave behind is your legacy.  Leave a masterpiece and people will remember you forever.  Even if you leave a disaster people will remember you forever.  You get to decide how you will be remembered.  The middle of the road or the average image will not be remembered because it is not remarkable in any way.  Many people take this route because it’s safe or they just don’t know how to make a masterpiece.  If you truly want to make your life a masterpiece you will have to work very hard.  Every color, every brush stroke, every thought and image in your mind must be focused on the goal of making a masterpiece worth remembering.  There is no short cut to success.  There is no secret to success.  It’s grinding and risk without reward before there is ever a reward.  Most people are not willing to take that chance.  They want the pay off right away.  What will you choose to do?  I hope you chose to make a masterpiece and recognize that everything matters.  The process matters.  The success is found in the struggle.  It doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t enjoy the effort.  Having your mind set on the vision of your final product gives you pleasure because you know that outcome that others can’t see.  They may not see or understand your effort as being fruitful and they don’t have to see it.  All that matters is that you see it and you are working toward achieving it.

When your dog needs to go out and you can’t get back to sleep, do what I am sure millions of other individuals do, check out Facebook.  This is not typical for me, the FB part anyway.  In this case, I’m glad I did because I watched a video that changes the way I see addiction and dopamine.  It’s not that I was thinking very much about either of those subjects before; however, thanks to Simon Sinek, I am thinking about them a lot right now.  Here is a link to a video of his comments if you want to stop reading this and watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrT8lJNa9Z8.

Addiction, according to Wikipedia, the brain trust of America and the World, is “a central nervous system disease characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. . . [and] a biological process – one which is induced by repeated exposure to an addictive stimulus.  The two properties that characterize all addictive stimuli are that they are reinforcing (i.e., they increase the likelihood that a person will seek repeated exposure to them) and intrinsically rewarding (i.e., perceived as being positive or desirable).”  

Dopamine, again, according to Wikipedia, “In the brain, functions as a neurotransmitter—a chemical released by neurons (nerve cells) to send signals to other nerve cells.  The brain includes several distinct dopamine pathways, one of which plays a major role in reward-motivated behavior. Most types of reward increase the level of dopamine in the brain.”

Sinek makes the point, thanks for continuing to read by the way, that Millennials and everyone else are addicted to their phones because you get a release of dopamine every time you check out FB, Instagram, email, texts, etc.  The compelling thing about this for me is that I will be returning to the classroom to teach in a little over a week to new reality.  Every semester I see many of my students ignoring the lecture for their phones.  I’ve been perplexed by this for a long time.  Why pay for an education and come to class only to ignore the message?  It would be like going to a restaurant, ordering a meal, paying for the meal, and not eating it because you would rather use your phone to engage with a world outside the restaurant.  Now I understand what is going on.  Yes, my lecture might not be the most engaging thing anyone has ever heard; however, there very well may be another explanation for their disengagement.  These students are addicts, and they are using my class to get a fix.  I am witnessing addiction in its truest form.  What’s more amazing is that unlike other addictions, this one is totally legal.  What is a professor to do?

 

We live one moment at a time, not one day at a time.  You continuously breath, and your heart beats continuously.  Your life is the product of these continuous actions.  You don’t have to think about breathing or beating your heart.  It happens automatically.

What if you were to make good decisions that had the same frequency?  These decisions are the product of your thinking.  Of course, your environment influences your thinking.  Be mindful of your environment and the decisions that you are already making.

For example, you make the decision to brush your teeth everyday when you are in the bathroom particularly in the morning and at night.  Yet, many people don’t floss as well as they should.  If you made the decision to floss just one tooth rather than all of your teeth, there would be an immediate reward for having accomplished this small action.  The reward should be celebrated even if it is just to say awesome or good job.  Over time, that one decision to take a small action accompanied with a reward would lead to many more decisions and actions which would produce a habit, which in turn produces as result.

Begin with recognizing the need to change and what needs to be changed. The need to change is easy because it is an awareness that you are not getting the result you want now based on what you have been doing.  Knowing what to change is not that difficult either because we know that the actions we take produce the results we get.  The key is recognizing that small changes in behavior produce big results over time.  For example, if we get on the scale or look in the mirror and don’t see the result we want, it is clear that we need to change the result and our behavior.  So, when we eat the wrong foods we don’t get the result we want.

We usually think of the big change we want to make, lose ten pounds, save a ton of money, exercise 30 minutes per day, etc.  Of course we know you can’t achieve these things in lump sum.  You have to begin by losing one pound, one dollar, and one minute.  These are tiny steps toward a bigger goal.  So, let’s focus on achieving these very small wins.

Since these decisions happen in a moment, let’s pay attention to what triggers us to take action in the right or wrong direction.  These triggers happen at a biological level.  We may not be able to change our biology; however, we can make a decision to make a small change in behavior which will lead to another decision to make a small change.  These small changes develop momentum and lead to a habit which produces a big result.

What can you do to trigger better behaviors?  Break it down.  What action leads to the next action?  Do something that brings you a reward.  Achievement leads to an endorphin release, feeling good.  Creating a string of actions with reward will help you to get the results you want.

Pain or pleasure?  We tend to avoid pain and pursue pleasure in the short term.  That decision to eat cake produces pleasure in the mouth and brain at the moment followed by regret and weight gain in the long run.  Perhaps you could carry gum with you and chew a stick of gum each time you feel the temptation to each cake.  This tiny action can produce a long term result.

Drinking more water could be an example.  To drink more water, make it easier to drink.  I never liked drinking water and still don’t.  However, I recognize it is important for my health.  So, I have a case of water in my truck, in my office, in my lunch bag, and many cases in my house.  Having water all around me all of the time makes it easier to drink.  It also serves as a trigger.  Seeing the water reminds me to drink.  Of course, I have to make the decision to drink; however, when I create an environment to make that decision easier I make the decision with more frequency.

Think about creating trigger goals rather than just long term goals.  Make micro changes to achieve what you want.  Create a trigger, take a small action, give yourself a reward, and repeat (T.A.R.R).

Happy New Year.

It’s 2017, and my desire for this year is to “Live In Freedom Everyday.”  Of course, in America, we could say we live in freedom everyday; however, that’s not entirely true.  I’ll save the politics for another day.  What I mean is that we are living the life we desire.  Yet again, you could say we have the opportunity to do that in America.  Although we may have the opportunity, I don’t think most of us live that way.  We make choices every moment of every day that limit our freedom and keep us away from our desires.

What does that mean to you?  Does it mean living without debt and stress? Does it mean knowing who you are?  Does it mean knowing where you are going?

Yes.

Then, do you know who you are?  I’m not sure you do because we put labels on ourselves like teacher, mother, friend, coworker, mechanic, etc.  Those labels are defined by our society and not necessarily defined by us.  Being a teacher means you have to do this, this, and this.  Being a mother means you are supposed to be this and that.  We can give our own meaning to who we are and what we do.  There is freedom in that.  Of course with our choices come consequences.  What consequences are you willing to endure for the choices you make?  The consequences of what others will think and what we will think of ourselves keeps us from living the way we want.  There is no freedom in that.

What is the vision you have for yourself and your life?  Will you have the courage to be free?

Raise your standards and improve your rituals.

When you decide to eat more than you should or spend more than you should, you are living according to a standard you have set for yourself.  Raise your standard and change the rituals that brought you to where you are.  Find new rituals that will produce the results you want.  Of course, it’s easy to say that.  Doing it is the challenge.  Getting yourself to do it can be difficult only because that is the story we created.  We are living the story we created in our mind.  Change the story and you will change yourself.

Decide today to be committed, not just interested, to changing your story.  Unlike watching a film on the big screen, you have the ability to change the script as the movie is playing in the story of your life.  Look for inspiration, look for what others are doing to get the results they want.  For example, make small changes, tiny changes.  There are two places you can make change happen this year which will produce amazing results, time and money.

Don’t let your time and money be consumed.  Set aside a portion of your money and time for yourself or your family.

Change your story about money.  Don’t look at what you don’t have, look at what you do have.  Change your story about time.  Don’t look at the time you don’t have, look instead at the time you do have.  Ask yourself, what can I do with what I have?  Decide to be resourceful.

Decisions determine your destiny.  When you make a decision you choose a path that takes you down a road to a destination.  You can easily make a different decision.

Think strategically.  Think with the end in mind.  What will this decision mean for me in the future?

Close the gap between reality and expectation by being aware of your should dos and focusing on your could dos.  Instead of thinking I should do this, think about what you could do.  You see, blame never solved a problem.  You blame yourself and others when your expectations aren’t met.

Lead yourself.  What advice would you give yourself?  Would you follow your own advice?

Challenge yourself to maximize your resources.

What is the meaning you give to things?  Do you see lack and limitation?  Do you see opportunity and freedom?

Change your approach.  Change the way you are communicating.  Decide to think differently about yourself and your future by changing the way you think about the resources you have.

Happy New Year.  I hope this helps you to Live In Freedom Everyday for the remainder of this year and every year to come.